Compliment Sandwich

By February 18, 2020 February 21st, 2020 OFF THE GRID

Radical Candor

Have you ever been stressed and stuck wondering: what should I do, what do I say, how do I say it? Most likely.

I’m not into buzz words, but I admire Ray Dalio’s movement on radical candor. Unfortunately, not a lot of people practice it. To my surprise, not even negotiation, conflict, and change management consultants.

Why does someone who builds a career on change and conflict have a hard time managing it constructively for themselves. The Blacksmith’s Home has Wooden Knives. Also, by default, as humans we are guided by fear. Yes, survival and fear of what others will think and how they will react and in turn, the fear of how it can affect us.

I haven’t worked at a place where radical candor has been put into practice, but seems to be that it is an optimistic and idealistic view of the world. In my opinion, it unfortunately does not work because it’s not always two-sided and that leads to resentment from the party who open up and exposed themself when it’s not reciprocated. Therefore, unfair. Also, the one side that is transparent and truthful – in our current society is most likely punished – because ultimately it translates to: “they haven’t learned the game.”

I learned a phrase at MIT – Compliment Sandwich. For those who haven’t heard of the term, it means you stick what you really want to say in between two compliments in a corporate polished manner. I am still unclear if this applies as radical candor – but at least it opens the way for teach people how to say what they want to say in an honest and “nice” manner.  What’s the baseline? The only problem about being “nice” is when the intention is guided by fear, not by empathy of hurting someone else’s feelings.





Photo Credits: Unsplash

Leave a Reply